The 3% Solution and A Conversation With Mr. Israeli Leftist

By Jason Gold

Mr. Israeli Leftist (MIL) looks over my knitted kippa, and techeilet-laden tzizzit and comes to the obvious conclusion. "Ah, you are a religious Zionist Kitzoni!". Where are you from? Hebron, no doubt, eh?"

I respond that no, I am not from Hebron although I will be spending a visit there for a number of days including Shabbat. He starts to visibly cringe at the thought.

"You seem like a nice guy, he says. Why would you go to a place with a few hundred Jews surrounded by thousands of Arabs? To pray at a shrine? What, are the patriarchs helping us today with what's going on? Please. Let them have the Machpela and the freedom house and the whole thing and all the other shtachim where the trouble originates from."

I look at MIL and ask in an amused way does he really still buy into the notion that the shtachim and mitnachalim who live there are the answer to the world's problems with Islamofascism and that giving it all away will soothe the Arab breast and make peace break out in our time? Didn't he learn that we tried the giveback experience multiple times only to meet with abject failure?

"Well, then," he asks me, "What is your solution?"

I patiently begin to explain about the moral bankruptcy of all of Israel's secular leadership from year 1 through year 59. How each generation has gotten worse and worse leading to our current gang of Sharon's thugs and bunglers. How the erstwhile PM with a 3% approval rating and his Karl Marx look-alike DM are circling the wagons post-Winograd report in a pathetic effort to hang on to the throne rather than doing the fall-on-the sword routine for honor and all that. I also explain how every problem this country has can be traced to a lack of faith-based leadership and why secular leadership no longer works here.

"So what, do we put the Mafdal or the Chreidim in charge?" he says looking at me in horror and beginning to tremble and appear physically ill. "I mean I know the 3% solution isn't really working but come on now!!!"

No, I say soothingly. We need faith-based non-coercive leadership that everyone can be comfortable with and that will eventually inspire people like you to start thinking seriously about Jewish Identity rather than reviling it.

I reach into my pocket and pull out a Manhigut Yehudit card and it is as though I have aimed the sun into the vampire's tomb.

"FEIGLIN???!!!" He screams out. "Oh my Gd. That extremist??!!! "No, no, no" he says as he as he appears ready to either retch or pass out. But then he suddenly becomes serious and looks at me expecting another volley.

I ask him them what is his solution might be aside from the tired old leftist slogans we've heard before. Where is your leadership? Ayalon? Barak? Peres? Beilin? How about the Hadash party?

He laughs. "Labor? Meretz? Please they are almost irrelevant even with a bright young guy like Ayalon who has bought into the fantasy of withdrawal to the green line and peace will be ours. The others? Ha! Ready for embalming. "

"Even the so-called right, what a choice. Bibi? Please, is that the best you guys can do? Mafdal? National Union? Shas? Special interest groups, all of them." And besides, a kippa-wearing PM? C'mon, really? Like we need a theocracy here?"

I patiently explain that Feiglin and Manhigut are not about coerced religion or theocracy but then it hits me. I tell him it's not religion or a kippa-wearing candidate that he objects to, but it's something else isn't it?

"Of course, he admits. "I am worried a kippa-wearing or faith based government as you call it will do to people like me what we have been doing to you datiim all along."

I smile and tell him quite frankly, vengeance is Gd's domain and also we will be too busy cleaning up your mess to worry about petty revenge issues. So I put the question to him again on who would he vote for?

He smiles.

"Feiglin," he replies clearly enjoying the look of shock on my face. "Why? Because at least here is an intelligent man, untainted by corruption, with ideology, with a plan, a vision. I may not agree with it, I may spend every night at his home protesting his plans when he becomes PM, but at least I know I can have an intelligent dialog with someone honest and forthright."

We shake hands to part and I ask him if I'll see him in Hebron soon.

"Not so fast," he replies. "what did Einstein say before he became nominally respectful? "I am not ready to be delivered into the hands of the priests"?

I smile and nod. OK, I tell him, then I guess Har Habayit will have to do for now.