Rosh HaYeshiva, Har Bracha
Although many Sephardim marry only from the 34th day of the Omer, and until then observe all the customs of the Sefira, there are differences of customs among the different communities – and therefore whoever marries on Lag B’Omer has a halachic authority to rely on * Among Ashkenazic Jews there are also different customs, but the majority usually marry from Lag Ba’Omer, and the machmirim only avoid large joyous occasions during the rest of the Sefira days * In general, in cases of doubt, it is better not to delay marriage * A moving story about the heroism of spirit that Rabbi Steiner related on Yom Ha’atzma’ut at an event in honor of Minister Uri Ariel
Spiritual Heroism and Minister Ariel
In the book “Ha’Ruach Sh’Gavra al Ha’Dracon” (“To Vanquish the Dragon”) (Feldheim Publishers), the author of the book, Pearl Benisch, tells about the wonderful story of the girls of Beit Yaakov in the Holocaust camps. Despite the great distress and starvation, they were willing to hand over everything they had for the sake of others. A girl was able to give up her only slice of bread which at times was the only food to be had after an entire day of hunger, for another girl – because she was hungrier. One girl gave her last drop of water for the sake of another girl begging for water.
The book tells about Naomi Goldberg, a student in Beit Yaacov from Pavianich, who worked in the kitchen in the Bergen – Belsen camp. There were two kitchens in the camp: one prepared separate food for the prisoners, and the other, regular food for the Germans.
The situation in the camp worsened from day to day. Hunger, thirst, and lice led to the spread of typhus. Thousands died in the plague, their bodies remained lying in the camp. The sick and dying lied on the floors of the barracks. But every evening, “a tall, thin figure towering above them all” appeared. Naomi would walk around the camp with love and compassion. In a bulky apron with bursting pockets she would hide a piece of bread or a potato. From all sides, the sick and hungry whispered to her, “Naomi, Naomi.” She would lean over on her knees, pour a bit of coffee into their hungry and thirsty mouths, feed them a couple of grains of sugar, nourishing them all with her ample smile.
On one occasion, the author writes, she herself felt dreadfully tired. Naomi saw her in the bathroom, looked at her with a frightened face, and then said, “Wait here, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” In no time she returned, with a bowl of cereal porridge hidden under her apron. “Eat immediately,” she ordered, “you look like a walking dead.” It was food cooked for the Germans, and Naomi risked stealing it under their noses. “I have never done this before,” she said, “but I can see you urgently need food.” Naomi would never dare steal food for herself, but to save someone else’s life, she was willing to risk her own life.
Naomi Goldberg z”l survived the camp, immigrated to Israel, and established her home in Kibbutz Tirat Tzvi. One of her son’s is Minister Uri Ariel.
This story was read by Rabbi Chaim Steiner shlita, at the Har Bracha Yom Ha’Atzma’ut celebration, attended by some of the pioneers and leaders of the settlements in Judea and Samaria dedicated to Minister Uri Ariel in honor of his longstanding public activity, with humility and dedication, in the renewal of settlement in Judea and Samaria, in his numerous duties including Gush Emunim, settlement, and in his role in the Knesset and government – for the People of Israel, the Land of Israel, and the Torah of Israel.
Weddings on Lag B’Omer According to Sephardic Customs
Q: I was invited to the wedding of a Sephardic Jew which will be held on the night of Lag B’Omer – according to him, this was the minhag (custom) of his Sephardic community. According to my knowledge, the Sephardic minhag permits marriages only on the day of the 34th of the Omer. Does he have a halachic authority to rely on?
A: Indeed, it seems from the Shulchan Aruch (493: 2), and even more so in the Beit Yosef, that according to the opinion of Rabbi Yosef Karo, it is permissible to marry only from the 34th of the Omer and onwards, but on Lag B’Omer it is forbidden. This is according to the Sephardic tradition, according to which the Gemara (Yevamot 62b) maintains that the students of Rabbi Akiva died until “p’ros Ha’Atzeret“. The word “p’ros” means ‘half’, in other words, half a month before Shavuot. When we subtract fifteen days from the forty-nine days of counting the Omer, there remains thirty-four days remain, in which the students of Rabbi Akiva died, and these are the days we observe the mourning customs. And since part of a day is considered like a whole day, from the morning of the 34th of the Omer, it is permissible to get married and take a haircut (S. A., 591:2). This was the halachic decision in our generation by the eminent rabbis, our teacher and guide Rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu, ztz”l, and the Gaon Rabbi Ovadiah Yosef in his responsa ‘Yabia Omer’ (Vol.3, 26: 4). This was the minhag in the Land of Israel and Syria, as well as in Algeria according to the Tashbetz (1:178), and in a few other communities. In Djerba, they were machmir (stringent) until the eve of Shavuout.
On the other hand, in most of the Sephardic communities, in practice, the custom was to get married already from Lag B’Omer. This was the minhag of many Jews in Morocco, as Rabbi Yosef Mashash wrote in ‘Otzer Ha’Michtavim’ (Vol.3: 1868), and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch Toledano (441:1), as well as in Tunisia (Aley Hadas 13:1), in Libya (HaShomer Emet 34:18), and as presented in the books of minhagim from Babylon, Persia, Kurdistan and Bukhara. This was also the minhag in Egypt according to the opinion of Maharikash, and in Turkey, as quoted in ‘Moed L’Kol Chai’ (6: 1), by Rabbi Chaim Palaji.
Thus, anyone who knows that this was the minhag of his community is permitted l’chatchila (from the outset) to get married on Lag B’Omer, and even someone who does not know this was the minhag of his community, b’shaat ha’tzorech (in a time of need) he may rely on those who do so (see, Yabia Omer 5:38).
In any event, since he has a reputable halachic opinion to rely on, he should not be admonished, and certainly it is a mitzvah for his relatives and friends to attend his wedding and make him happy.
The Ashkenazi Minhag during Sefirat Ha’Omer
The custom of Ashkenazi Jews, which was prevalent in Eretz Yisrael during the times of the Old Yishuv, incorporated several traditions. The major customs of mourning continue until Lag B’Omer, and some of them continue afterwards. This, according to the masoret (tradition), that the plague stopped on Lag B’Omer, but the students whose illness began before Lag B’Omer, died afterwards until Shavuot (Maharal, Chiddushei Aggadot to Tractate Yevamot, 62:2). Thus, they fulfilled the two traditions, first, that the plague lasted throughout Sefirat Ha’Omer, and second, that it ended on Lag Ba’Omer.
Therefore, Ashkenazim do not take haircuts, celebrate weddings, play music, or dance until Lag B’Omer. Afterwards, however, they refrain only from weddings and very joyous affairs. From the beginning of the month of Sivan, marriage is permitted, because the joy of Shavuot, already evident from the beginning of the month of Sivan, cancels the mourning.
Another reason: during the Crusades and the Chmielnicki Massacres of 5408-5409 (1648-49), hundreds of thousands of Ashkenazi Jews were killed, and these murders occurred mainly during the latter part of the Omer period. Therefore, Ashkenazi communities refrain from large celebrations during this period.
Some Ashkenazim were accustomed to observe 33 days of mourning from Rosh Chodesh Iyar until the eve of Shavuot, and the basis of their custom is based on the opinion that one should observe 33 days of mourning, no matter if it is at the beginning or the end of the counting of the Omer, and since at the end of the Omer it is more appropriate to mourn, that is when they would observe the customs of mourning.
In practice, however, today many Jews who made aliyah from Ashkenazic countries are lenient, and hold marriages from Lag B’Omer onward, and only large happy occasions that are optional in nature are avoided until Shavuot. One may act accordingly l’chatchila, because weddings are a great mitzvah, and thus, in any safek (doubt) the halakha should be decided according to those poskim who are of the opinion that it is permissible to marry. In addition, we have learned in the Talmud (Moed Katan 8b), that one of the reasons our Sages forbade marriages during Chol Ha’Moed was in order not to postpone the mitzvah of puru u’revuru (procreation), for if marriages were permitted on Chol Ha’Moed, people who intended to get married before the holiday would prefer to postpone the marriage to a time when everyone was off from work and more people could participate in their joy, and they could even save money by combining the festive meals of Chol Ha’Moed and the wedding together. Thus, we see that delaying marriage is something that should be avoided, and therefore when there is a safek, people should be instructed according to the minhag that marriage should not be postponed.
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